Easter

Easter
Bunnies, Chocolate, Eggs
Posting on facebook about how excited you are
Why does my skin crawl when I read some of it?
Why am I not excited?
Why did church make me cry?
Why does everything seem so fake?
People sit there and pretend to be ok, there's nothing wrong... I don't want to be here but everything is fine...
I want to care, to be excited, but all I feel is hollow and sadness
I kneeled there at the alter asking God to please help my family.
Did he hear?
I hope so

I have a friend who says religion is the opiate of the masses
Just a way for people to feel better about themselves and have a moral code
I don't think that's all there is but where do I go from here?
How do I start moving again? How do I believe again when I have been so hurt?
I'd like that quick fix but life isn't that easy or neat
It's quite messy actually something I've been learning lately

I cannot fake it I am realizing more and more
A lesson I learned a long time ago but apparently I need to learn again
Everything feels so grey, I almost yearn for the time I saw in black and white
life was simpler
but it's like opening pandoras box, once it's open you cant close it
and in reality even though it makes life more complicated I think I am a better person for the greyness

So what is easter about at its core?
Redemption, grace, love?